Reframing our Failures

If you’re like most other athletes, your intellect thrives at
telling your mind where it goes wrong, but is shy to tell your mind where it goes right:

❌ Nothing’s going to get better
❌ I can never get it right
❌ I am always messing it up
❌ I am always letting the team down in big moments


We have an odd tendency of looking for the worst in ourselves, while telling ourselves that it will never change nor get better. According to Jay Shetty, author of ‘Think like a Monk’ there are three routes to happiness, all of them centered on knowledge: learning, progressing and achieving. Whenever we are growing, we feel happy and free of material yearning. If you’re unsatisfied, or criticizing yourself, or feeling hopeless, don’t let that stall you out.” Shetty encourages to reader to “identify the ways you’re making progress, and you will begin to see, feel and appreciate the value of what you are doing.” Reframe your self-criticism and self-doubt in terms of knowledge and awareness. When you your mind says either, “I suck, I’m not good enough or I can’t do this, respond to yourself:


🔥 It just needs work.

🔥 I am a work in progress.

🔥 I am improving with every rep.

🔥 I am improving with everyday.

🔥 I can and will learn from this moment.


Over my 12 years as a professional, I see 2 distinct types of athletes:


  1. Athletes that are incredibly physical and had amazing youth coaches or a parent that played volleyball – and are able to get away with some bad lifestyle habits.
  2. Athletes that aren’t so talented but have refused to make excuses, mistakes and/or excuses along their journey. In short – they are masters at reframing their failures, shortcomings and setbacks.


One of my favorite examples is Paul Lotman – a 2012 Olympian with the Team USA’s indoor team, won multiple titles overseas, a CEV MVP, Champion and before that a NCAA co-player of the year. (The other athlete was Matt Anderson) Before that, Paul was a pudgy tall kid – he was so basic that when I arrived to Long Beach State my freshman year and saw him, I was mad. I grew up in Long Beach and I was so proud to be a part of the team and there was.... Paul, a super average High School athlete from Los Al – “How? What? Why is he here?” I was pissed - I was also projecting, as I was also an average High School athlete :)


I thought to myself “How could Long Beach take this kid, he’s terrible – he’s not even worth a redshirt!” Looks can be deceiving – Paul’s true power was his grit, his mind, his relentless nature to compete and his ability to get up, time after time. Paul lost the weight and became one of the best outside hitters to ever play at Long Beach State and eventually an Olympian (shows what I know :) I love Paul’s story and I love Paul as a friend as he showed to the world, the team and himself what is possible with a strong character, when you reframe your failures and if you are truly relentless in pursuit of your goal.


In contrast to Paul there was 3 other players in his class that were much higher ranked coming into Long Beach State and all 3 of them didn’t even make it to their senior year! They were great guys but they gave into the mind’s sabotage and allowed excuses, explanations and pity to reign supreme in their headspace. Wherever you are on your journey, there is a better way and a better way to train your mind – philosophy to help you get up quicker, techniques to spin your failures into tomorrow’s training intention and MOST importantly, we can train your awareness and to catch yourself spiraling in real time. 


Do you want to learn more and reframing and possibly work with me 1v1? If you're interested in becoming your best version and want to join a group of like-minded athletes who are growing stronger and more intentional every day in every way... Email me at with the subject line: Reframe and me and my team will get back to you with the details to see if you qualify. What's that?.. You don’t’ want to work in a group setting, you rather go all the way and work with me 1v1? Email me and put in the subject line "ALL IN"


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